Chronic Illness and the Reality of Being an Author

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When people picture an author, they might think they sit at a desk all day with their laptop open, coffee beside them, and writing for hours without interruption. They think authors have finished manuscripts, beautiful cover reveals, ARCs being sent out, launch days, social media posts, newsletters, and the excitment of watching a book finally make its way into readers' hands. And honestly, those things are part of being an author. But they aren't the whole picture.

Social media has a way of making authorship look incredibly productive and almost nonstop. You see authors posting word counts, daily updates, announcing that they wrote thousands of words in a day, sharing their writing journey, celebrating another draft, or already moving on to their next project. It's easy to look at all of that and think, Why can't I write that much? Why am I struggling to keep us? Why does it seem like everyone else is doing more than me? I struggle with that daily.

The reality is that I'm not working with the same physical and mental limitations as every other author. Some days, writing isn't even the hardest part. Getting myself the computer is. Some days, I have the ideas, the motivation, and the scene playing perfectly in my head, but my body doesn't have the energy most days to follow along. Other days, I might manage to write, but everything else has to be put on hold because that little bit of creative energy took much more of me than anyone would ever know from looking at my social media.

From the outside, the author life can look like constant progress. For me, it can look like writing a few hundred words, resting, stepping away from the computer, coming back later, and sometimes realizing that today just isn't going to be a writing day. It can mean celebrating small victories that no one else sees. Opening my manuscript when I didn't think I could. Finishing a paragraph. Editing one scene. Showing up for my story even when I can't show up for it in the way I originally planned.

That's the part of being an author with chronic illness that people don't always see. The books may look the same when they reach the reader, but the journey to get there can look completely different.

One of the hardest things about writing with chronic illness is that my creativity doesn't necessarily disappear. My ability to access it changes. There are days when I know exactly what I want to write. I can see the scene in my head. I know what my characters need to say, how the conversation should unfold, what emotional beat needs to happen, and where the chapter needs to go next. In my head, the scene is practically written. And then my body has other plans.

Brain: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS SCENE NEEDS.

Body: Absolutely not.

Lately, I've been dealing with elevated liver enzymes and my thyroid acting up, which can leave me dealing with a level of fatigue that makes getting out of bed feel like an accomplishment. There are days when I don't even make it to my computer because my body simply doesn't have the energy. And then there are the migraines. When one of those hits hard, concentrating on a screen, reading a sentence, or trying to put thoughts into words can become nearly impossible.

Sometimes I can sit down at my computer and write for a while, only to realize that I need to stop. Sometimes I have enough energy to work on a scene but need several breaks throughout the process. Sometimes my concentration disappears halfway through a paragraph. And sometimes I have a really good writing day where everything seems to click, only to spend the next several days unable to do much of anything.

That inconsistency can be incredibly frustrating as an author. When I have a good writing day, part of me wants to take advantage of it. I want to keep going because I don't know when the next good day will come. But pushing myself too far can mean paying for it afterward. So I have had to learn that a productive day doesn't mean I need to squeeze every possible word out of myself. Sometimes stopping while I still have something left is the better choice. I've experienced this while working on my own manuscripts, too. There have been moments where I have been completely inside a story, thinking about Book 2's main characters, knowing exactly what needs to happen in a scene and feeling that excitement that comes when everything starts falling into place. The story is moving in my head faster than I can type it. I want to get it all down before I lose the feeling.

But then the fatigue hits. Or a migraine starts. Or I can't concentrate anymore. Suddenly, the scene that felt so clear a few minutes ago is out of reach. That's one of the strangest parts of creating while chronically ill. The story doesn't always stop just because I have to. The ideas are still there. The characters are still talking to me. The scene still exists in my head. I still want to write the book. Sometimes, I just can't get it from my head to the page. And learning to accept that has been difficult. There is a tendency to think that if you aren't writing, you're not being productive. But I've had to remind myself that resting doesn't mean I've stopped being an author. Taking a day off doesn't mean I've abandoned my manuscript. Needing breaks doesn't mean I'm less dedicated to my stories. Sometimes, the most productive thing I can do for my writing is close the laptop and let my body rest.

My creativity is still there. My stories are still there. I'm just learning how to create with a body that doesn't always cooperate with the schedule I wish I had.

Book 2 has taken longer than I ever planned for it to. And honestly, that's been hard to accept. I want to finish this book so badly. I'm excited about the story, I'm excited about these characters, and there are scenes I've been practically itching to write. I know where I want the story to go. I know the moments I want readers to experience. I know the emotional beats, the reveals, the tension, and the things I want to set up for the books that come after it. That's probably one of the hardest part.

I love this book. I think about it constantly. I have ideas for future books that I want to work on once this one is finished. Sometimes my brain is already running ahead to the next story while I'm still trying to get Book 2 across the finish line. The story is ready. I'm ready. But sometimes my body isn't. There have been times when I've wanted nothing more than to sit down and work on my manuscript, but the fatigue has been too overwhelming. There are days when I don't get out of bed. There are days when a migraine makes looking at a computer screen feel impossible. There are days when I can work for a little while but have to stop because my energy or concentration simply isn't there anymore. And that can be heartbreaking. Because when you're passionate about something, you want your ability to create it to match that passion. I want to be able to say, "I'm finishing Book 2," and actually have the time, energy, and physical ability to make that happen on the timeline I imagined. But my body doesn't work on my deadlines. That's something I've had to learn the hard way.

I can be incredibly frustrated with how long this book is taking and still love it. I can wish I were further along and still be proud of what I've accomplished. I can desperately want to finish and still need to rest. Those feelings don't cancel each other out. Sometimes I have to remind myself that taking longer doesn't mean the book is failing. It doesn't mean I'm failing as an author. It doesn't mean the story isn't worth finishing. When I get frustrated, I try to remind myself that I would rather finish this book in a way that allows me to actually enjoy the process than force myself through it until I completely burn out. I would rather give the story the time it needs than rush it simply because I feel like I should already be done.

I also remind myself that a deadline I created for myself is not more important than my wellbeing. That doesn't make the waiting easy. There are still days when I look at my manuscript and think, I should be further along than this. But then I try to change the thought. Instead of asking, Why isn't this finished yet? I try to ask, What can I realistically give this story today? Sometimes the answer is a chapter. Sometimes it's a paragraph. Sometimes it's an idea written down in my notes so I don't forget it. And sometimes the answer is nothing. Sometimes I need to rest

Book 2 may be taking longer than I wanted, but that doesn't mean I'm not moving forward. Even when I'm not physically writing, I'm still carrying this story with me. I'm still thinking about these characters. I'm still figuring things out. I'm still an author. The book isn't going anywhere. And neither am I.

At the end of the day, being an author with chronic illness means learning that the writing journey doesn't always look the way you imagined it would. From the outside, it can look like constant progress. Another chapter finished. Another draft completed. Another book announced. But behind those accomplishments can be days of fatigue, brain fog, pain, migraines, missed writing sessions, unexpected breaks, and moments when simply getting out of bed takes everything you have.

I've had to learn that my writing journey can't be measured by someone else's word count, publishing schedule, or productivity. I can't compare my behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel and expect the comparison to be my creativity hasn't disappeared. My love for my stories hasn't disappeared. My excitement about becoming a published author hasn't disappeared. Sometimes, I just have to reach my stories differently. Maybe I write a few hundred words instead of a few thousand. Maybe I edit one scene instead of an entire chapter. Maybe I write down an idea in my notes because that's all I can manage that day. And sometimes, I do absolutely nothing related to writing because my body needs me to rest. That doesn't make me less of an author.

Book 2 taking longer than I planned doesn't make me less of an author. Needing several days away from my manuscript doesn't make me less of an author. Having to stop in the middle of a scene because my body says enough doesn't make me less dedicated to my story.

I'm still writing.

I'm still creating.

I'm still dreaming up stories and characters and worlds.

I'm just learning that sometimes the path to the finished book is slower than I want it to be.

And maybe that's okay.

Because my worth as an author isn't determined by how quickly I finish a manuscript. My stories don't become less meaningful because they take longer to write. And resting doesn't mean I've stopped moving forward.

Sometimes moving forward looks like writing. Sometimes it looks like thinking. Sometimes it looks like editing. And sometimes it looks like closing the laptop, getting back into bed, and giving my body the rest it needs. I'm learning to stop seeing those days as failures. I'm learning that I don't have to earn the right to call myself an author by being productive every single day.

I'm an author on the days when I write 2,000 words.

I'm an author on the days when I write two sentences.

And I'm still an author on the days when I can't write at all.

Chronic illness may have changed the way I create, but it hasn't taken away my stories.

They're still here.

And so am I.

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Follow Along With My Author Journey

If you'd like to follow along with my writing journey, including the highs, the struggles, behind-the-scenes moments, and everything in between, I'd love to have you along for the ride. You can follow me on social media to keep up with my books, writing progress, upcoming releases, author updates, and more.

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Thank you for being here, for supporting my stories, and for reminding me that I don't have to create at someone else's pace. Every reader, every share, every comment, and every bit of encouragement means more than you know.

I'll see you over on social media. ❤️